Text: Mary Celeste Beall’s Commencement address to the MC Class of 2022
Mary Celeste Beall, proprietor of Blackberry Farm, delivered the commencement address to the Maryville College Class of 2022 on May 7, 2022. Here is the full text of her address.
I am honored and excited to be here celebrating with you today! Thank you to President Coker, the Maryville College Board…and to the graduating class of 2022.
I don’t come to you as an expert on how to chart your perfect career path, or how to navigate the world of crypto, or pretending to know what’s around the corner for the world.
But what I do have is MY story and the lessons I’ve learned from every shattering, beautiful and hopeful twist.
One of my high school senior quotes was “the only constant is change”. My life has been full of changes: My parents divorced when I was in 3rd grade, I married at a young age, I moved from Alabama to Virginia to Tennessee to California and back to Tennessee in 6 years, received my Masters in Accounting and became a CPA, I had 5 children by age 35. By age 38, my husband Sam and I were living our dream life. We had a healthy family, a comfortable home, and a family business that we both loved in the Great Smoky Mountains. Life and family had found a beautiful rhythm. Until one day…
It was close to 5 pm on a cold February day. I had just picked up my 13-year-old son and his friend from lacrosse practice and was pumping gas when my husband’s friend Clay called.
Within seconds, in one phone call, my life changed forever.
Clay was calling from Colorado to tell me that Sam, my best friend, husband, soulmate, and father of our five children had died in a snow skiing accident on his first run of the day. Twelve hours earlier, at 5 am, I had kissed Sam goodbye as he left for the airport, never imagining that was the last time I’d see him.
To this day, I am not sure how I made the drive home. After the worst call of my life, I had to do something even worse – I had to tell my five precious children, ranging in age from 3 to 18, that their father and hero was never coming home.
We struggled through that night – my mother-in-law, father-in-law, my kids and close friends.
Somehow, the next morning, I told myself that we were going to be okay.
And we are. Six years later, my children are thriving. Do we miss Sam more than one can imagine? YES. But we are LIVING on. We took one hour, then one day at a time, and slowly we found our footing thanks to our incredible support system – our faith, our family, our community near and far, and our amazing team at Blackberry.
How did we do it?
In those first few days and months, I learned so much about myself, about the power of community, and the importance of values and attitude. When I was graduating from college, the thought of being a 38-year-old widowed mother of five children never crossed my mind. But here I am celebrating EVERY day I am given. You all have survived a global pandemic and your own unique challenges – facing the unexpected, adapting, and succeeding – and now you are entering one of the most exciting times of your life as a college graduate; there is so much to celebrate today!
As you prepare to move forward, I would like to share a few things I have learned.
FIRST, know what is important to you.
What are you not willing to sacrifice or change? Create a mission statement for yourself to define it.
In my situation, I was suddenly faced with parenting five children without my other half, AND I jumped into the role of Proprietor at Blackberry. It was overwhelming, but I was determined to stay true to the goals Sam and I had created for our family and our mission for Blackberry, both of which guide my decision making.
What you say NO to is as important as what you say YES to. It is okay to politely decline! Are there things we need to do even when we don’t want to? Yes. But make sure they align with your values, and guard yourself from falling victim to a false sense of obligation. I encourage you to write down your core values. If something doesn’t reinforce those values, then it shouldn’t be a priority. Say YES to things that fill you up and make you a better version of yourself.
Find your People.
Who shares your values? Who can you count on when times are tough? Who makes wise decisions in difficult situations? Who inspires you to be a better person? Who tells you the truth when you need to hear it? Who can you ask for help and be vulnerable with? Who can you trust?
Find a mentor – or a few! Absorb the life lessons that people can teach you, and be open to people who will provide constructive advice to help you on your personal and professional journey.
Encourage others! Maintain your own personal brand of hospitality, supporting the people you interact with, treating them with kindness, and sharing your light.
When tragedy or hardship hits, it doesn’t matter what you are wearing, what car you drive, how many likes you just got on Instagram, or what’s in your bank account – it’s about ATTITUDE and COMMUNITY. How will you react and who will support you through it? Aside from my family and friends, the Blackberry team has always been BEYOND supportive of my children and me. They are passionate about keeping Sam’s vision alive for taking great care of our guests and owners and always striving for the BEST. I am honored to work with the outstanding group of humans who make Blackberry such a special place – and we’re always hiring! (Say it in kind of a joking way that makes it lighthearted)
Ask for help!
You may be receiving a degree today from esteemed Maryville College, but you are young and have a lot of life experience to gain! Ask questions, be curious, and don’t be afraid to admit when you need support. Being vulnerable shows maturity and can open up doors you wouldn’t expect. No one expects you to have it all figured out. And if any of you think you do, good luck with that, because life is full of change and curveballs.
Life is a process.
Today is the beginning of a new chapter for you as you leave behind this great institution and your college community. Life is full of many chapters – some seem longer and more significant than others, some are full of challenges and tough times, some are the greatest days of your life, and all are filled with every day, mundane tasks – life is ALL of those moments. How we live our daily life sets the tone for how we feel and the energy we put into the universe. I encourage you to figure out what fills you up – daily, weekly and annually – what gives you energy to be your best. And in those tough stretches – when you are still finding your people in a new city, or figuring out what in the world you are supposed to do in your new job, or navigating life altering news with someone you love – take one day at a time knowing that life is a process, and we are meant to learn and grow from every day. We live in a society that focuses on the HIGHLIGHTS – but life is a rollercoaster of highs and lows, and the only way is THROUGH. It is those THROUGH MOMENTS when we have to dig in and push ourselves that build us into who we are meant to be. So, I challenge you to dig in and KNOW that you will grow if you engage with an openness to learn. Having a plan for your life with goals and a vision for your future is important, just remember to enjoy the process –because the process is life!
YOU are more CAPABLE than you realize.
You will never know if you CAN do something unless you try it. I graduated with a degree in Business Administration, got my Masters in tax Accounting, clearly anticipating the types of career opportunities those degrees apply to. But within 2 years, I set aside my career goals and was focused on raising my children with Sam and supporting him in his role at Blackberry – I was changing diapers, celebrating that I got all my kids to bed at a reasonable hour, and trying my best to be a good mother and wife. Over time, I worked on different projects at Blackberry, but I certainly never imagined I would find myself in the role of Proprietor. I had passion and knowledge about our family business, as I had been living it with Sam for years. And NOW, Here I am, loving my work, still celebrating if my children and I manage to get to bed at a reasonable hour, and constantly learning more about how and what I am capable of contributing to this life. Believe in yourself, follow your gut, and never say never. You have no idea what you can do.
TAKE TIME.
Take time to look people in the eye and tell them you love them. I will never forget telling Sam goodbye when he left on February 25th, 2016. I am grateful for that tiny moment that is etched in my heart and mind forever. Take time to show compassion and kindness any chance you can. Apologize and be forgiving. Take time to breathe – constant motion and ceaseless energy do not define success. Taking time to prioritize your wellbeing and fill yourself with what you need is what will guide you to becoming your best self. Take time to have fun! You are never too old have a quick go on a swing, catch a lightening bug on a starry night, or splash in a puddle – just maybe not on your way to the office.
Embrace change and the unexpected.
You’ve gathered by now that embracing the unexpected is a big part of my journey. It’s what I’ve learned and grown the most from. Myself, my children and our Blackberry family embraced every moment of change that came with Sam’s passing, and we embrace any new challenge that comes our way with a fortified energy to be solution seekers. Be willing to change! Changing is not a sign of weakness or sacrifice. It is a beautiful evolution. Each time you are presented with the unexpected: breathe. Trust your instincts, and do the right thing no matter what. Don’t be paralyzed by the idea of perfection.
Finally, the last and most important lesson that I will share with you today is Make a Great Day. When my husband sent the kids off to school in the morning, he would say, “Bye, I love you, Make a GREAT day”. The key word is MAKE. We may each have a plan for how we see our day going, but how you handle the unknowns – traffic jams, bad weather, negative feedback on a project you worked hard on, a rude encounter – is what determines how your day will go, and added together, how your life will go. You have the choice of how you are going to address each situation. Making a great day, doesn’t mean every day is rainbows and joy or that we gloss over the difficult parts. Make a Great Day is the celebration of the power of optimism and an active, engaged attitude. Take that positive, open, curious, active attitude with you everywhere you go, and you will discover the incredible good that this world has to offer you.
Class of 2022, Thank you. And congratulations on your amazing accomplishment today.
I cannot wait to see how you change the world!
As you enter your next chapter: know what is important to you, surround yourself with the right people, remember that life is a process, know that you are so capable, show love and kindness, embrace change, and MAKE A GREAT DAY every day.